Two and a Half Men

This article about a TV show is pretty sucky. You can help the TV Database Wiki by expanding it.

Two and a Half Men

Information
Title:	Two and a Half Men
Format:	Live-action
Genres:	Comedy
Rating:	TV-14
Running time:	30 min.
country:	USA
Network:	CBS
Seasons:	12
Episodes:	262
Production
Production company:	Chuck Lorre Productions Warner Bros. Television
Executive producers:	Chuck Lorre; Lee Aronsohn; Eric Tannenbaum; Kim Tannenbaum; Eddie Gorodetsky
Producers:	Michael Collier; Joe Bella; Mary T. Quigley; Carol Anne Miller
Principal cast:	Charlie Sheen; Jon Cryer; Angus T. Jones; Marin Hinkle; Ashton Kutcher; Conchata Ferrell; Holland Taylor
Air dates
First aired:	September 22nd, 2003
Last aired:	February 19th, 2015

Episodes[]

Season One[]

Premiere Date	Ep No.	Name
September 22, 2003	S01E01	Pilot
September 29, 2003	S01E02	Big Flappy Bastards
October 6, 2003	S01E03	Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
October 13, 2003	S01E04	If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
October 20, 2003	S01E05	The Last Thing You Want is to Wind Up with a Hump
October 27, 2003	S01E06	Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
November 3, 2003	S01E07	If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
November 10, 2003	S01E08	Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snootful
November 17, 2003	S01E09	Phase One, Complete
November 24, 2003	S01E10	Merry Thanksgiving
December 15, 2003	S01E11	Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
January 5, 2004	S01E12	Camel Filters and Pheromones
January 12, 2004	S01E13	Sarah Like Puny Alan
February 2, 2004	S01E14	I Can't Afford Hyenas
February 9, 2004	S01E15	Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
February 16, 2004	S01E16	That Was Saliva, Alan
February 23, 2004	S01E17	Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
March 1, 2004	S01E18	An Old Flame with a New Wick
March 22, 2004	S01E19	I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
April 19, 2004	S01E20	Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
May 3, 2004	S01E21	No Sniffing, No Wowing
May 10, 2004	S01E22	My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
May 17, 2004	S01E23	Just Like Buffalo
May 24, 2004	S01E24	Can You Feel My Finger?

Season Two[]

Premiere Date	Ep No.	Name
September 20, 2004	S02E01	Back Off, Mary Poppins
September 27, 2004	S02E02	Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
October 4, 2004	S02E03	A Bag Full of Jawea
October 11, 2004	S02E04	Go Get Mommy's Bra
October 18, 2004	S02E05	Bad News from the Clinic?
October 25, 2004	S02E06	The Price of Healthy Gums is Eternal Vigilance
November 8, 2004	S02E07	A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
November 15, 2004	S02E08	Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
November 22, 2004	S02E09	Yes, Monsignor
November 29, 2004	S02E10	The Salmon Under My Sweater
December 13, 2004	S02E11	Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
January 3, 2005	S02E12	A Lungful of Alan
January 17, 2005	S02E13	Zejdź z Moich Włosów (a.k.a. Get Off My Hair)
January 31, 2005	S02E14	Those Big Pink Things with Coconuts
February 7, 2005	S02E15	Smell the Umbrella Stand
February 14, 2005	S02E16	Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
February 21, 2005	S02E17	Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
March 7, 2005	S02E18	It Was Mame, Mom
March 21, 2005	S02E19	A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
April 18, 2005	S02E20	I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
May 2, 2005	S02E21	A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
May 9, 2005	S02E22	That Old Hose Bag is My Mother
May 16, 2005	S02E23	Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
May 23, 2005	S02E24	Does This Smell Funny to You?

Season Three[]

Premiere Date	Ep No.	Name
September 19, 2005	S03E01	Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
September 26, 2005	S03E02	Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
October 3, 2005	S03E03	Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
October 10, 2005	S03E04	Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
October 17, 2005	S03E05	We Called It Mr. Pinky
October 24, 2005	S03E06	Hi, Mr. Horned One
November 7, 2005	S03E07	Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
November 14, 2005	S03E08	That Voodoo That I Do Do
November 21, 2005	S03E09	Madame and Her Special Friend
November 28, 2005	S03E10	Something Salted and Twisted
December 19, 2005	S03E11	Santa's Village of the Damned
January 9, 2006	S03E12	That Special Tug
January 23, 2006	S03E13	Humiliation is a Visual Medium
February 6, 2006	S03E14	Love Isn't Blind, It's R*******
February 27, 2006	S03E15	My Tongue is Meat
March 6, 2006	S03E16	Ergo, the Booty Call
March 13, 2006	S03E17	The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
March 20, 2006	S03E18	The Spit-Covered Cobbler
April 10, 2006	S03E19	Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
April 24, 2006	S03E20	Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
May 1, 2006	S03E21	And the Plot Moistens
May 8, 2006	S03E22	Just Once with Aunt Sophie
May 15, 2006	S03E23	Arguments for the Quickie
May 22, 2006	S03E24	That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

Season Four[]

Premiere Date	Ep No.	Name
September 18, 2006	S04E01	Working for Caligula
September 25, 2006	S04E02	Who's Vod Kanockers?
October 2, 2006	S04E03	The Sea is a Harsh Mistress
October 9, 2006	S04E04	A Pot Smoking Monkey
October 16, 2006	S04E05	A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
October 23, 2006	S04E06	Apologies for the Frivolity
November 6, 2006	S04E07	Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
November 13, 2006	S04E08	Release the Dogs
November 20, 2006	S04E09	Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
November 27, 2006	S04E10	Kissing Abraham Lincoln
December 11, 2006	S04E11	Walnuts and Demerol
January 8, 2007	S04E12	Castrating Sheep in Montana
January 22, 2007	S04E13	Don't Worry, Speed Racer
February 5, 2007	S04E14	That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
February 12, 2007	S04E15	My Damn Stalker
February 19, 2007	S04E16	Young People Have Phlegm Too
February 26, 2007	S04E17	I Merely Slept with a Commie
March 19, 2007	S04E18	It Never Rains in Hooterville
April 9, 2007	S04E19	Smooth as a Ken Doll
April 16, 2007	S04E20	Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
April 23, 2007	S04E21	Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
April 30, 2007	S04E22	Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
May 7, 2007	S04E23	Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'
May 14, 2007	S04E24	Prostitutes and Gelato

Season Five[]

Premiere Date	Ep No.	Name
September 24, 2007	S05E01	Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
October 1, 2007	S05E02	Media Room Slash Dungeon
October 8, 2007	S05E03	Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
October 15, 2007	S05E04	City of Great Racks
October 22, 2007	S05E05	Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
October 29, 2007	S05E06	Help Daddy Find His Toenail
November 5, 2007	S05E07	Our Leather Gear is in the Guest Room
November 12, 2007	S05E08	Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
November 19, 2007	S05E09	Tight's Good
November 26, 2007	S05E10	Kinda Like Necrophilia
March 17, 2008	S05E11	Meander to Your Dander
March 24, 2008	S05E12	A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
March 31, 2008	S05E13	The Soil is Moist
April 14, 2008	S05E14	Winky-Dink Time
April 21, 2008	S05E15	Rough Night in Hump Junction
April 28, 2008	S05E16	Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
May 5, 2008	S05E17	Fish in a Drawer
May 12, 2008	S05E18	If My Hole Could Talk
May 19, 2008	S05E19	Waiting for the Right Snapper

Season Six[]

Premiere Date	Ep No.	Name
September 22, 2008	S06E01	Taterhead is Our Love Child
September 29, 2008	S06E02	Pie Hole, Herb
October 6, 2008	S06E03	Damn You, Eggs Benedict
October 13, 2008	S06E04	The Flavin' and the Mavin'
October 20, 2008	S06E05	A Jock Strap in Hell
November 3, 2008	S06E06	It's Always Nazi Week
November 10, 2008	S06E07	Best H.O. Money Can Buy
November 17, 2008	S06E08	Pinocchio's Mouth
November 24, 2008	S06E09	The Mooch at the Boo
December 8, 2008	S06E10	He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
December 15, 2008	S06E11	The Devil's Lube
January 12, 2009	S06E12	Thank God for Scoliosis
January 19, 2009	S06E13	I Think You Offended Don
February 2, 2009	S06E14	David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
February 9, 2009	S06E15	I'd Like to Start with the Cat
March 2, 2009	S06E16	She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
March 9, 2009	S06E17	The Ocu or the Pado?
March 16, 2009	S06E18	My Son's Enormous Head
March 30, 2009	S06E19	The Two Finger Rule
April 13, 2009	S06E20	Hello, I am Alan Cousteau
April 27, 2009	S06E21	Above Exalted Cyclops
May 4, 2009	S06E22	Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
May 11, 2009	S06E23	Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
May 18, 2009	S06E24	Baseball Was Better with Steroids

Season Seven[]

Premiere Date	Ep No.	Name
September 21, 2009	S07E01	818-jklpuzo
September 28, 2009	S07E02	Whipped Unto the Third Generation
October 5, 2009	S07E03	Mmm, Fish. Yum.
October 12, 2009	S07E04	Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
October 19, 2009	S07E05	For the Sake of the Child
November 2, 2009	S07E06	Give Me Your Thumb
November 9, 2009	S07E07	Untilted by Filth
November 16, 2009	S07E08	Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
November 23, 2009	S07E09	Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
December 7, 2009	S07E10	That's Why They Call It Ball Room
December 14, 2009	S07E11	Warning, It's Dirty
January 11, 2010	S07E12	Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
January 18, 2010	S07E13	Yay, No Polyps!
February 1, 2010	S07E14	Crude and Uncalled For
February 8, 2010	S07E15	Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
March 1, 2010	S07E16	Tinkle Like a Princess
March 8, 2010	S07E17	I Found Your Moustache
March 22, 2010	S07E18	Ixnay on the Oggie Day
April 12, 2010	S07E19	Keith Moon is Vomiting in His Grave
May 10, 2010	S07E20	I Called Him Magoo
May 17, 2010	S07E21	Gumby with a Pokey
May 24, 2010	S07E22	This Is Not Gonna End Well

Season Eight[]

Premiere Date	Ep No.	Name
September 20, 2010	S08E01	Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
September 27, 2010	S08E02	A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
October 4, 2010	S08E03	A Pudding-Filled Cactus
October 11, 2010	S08E04	Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
October 18, 2010	S08E05	The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
October 25, 2010	S08E06	Twanging Your Magic Clanger
November 1, 2010	S08E07	The Crazy Bitch Gazette
November 8, 2010	S08E08	Springtime on a Stick
November 15, 2010	S08E09	A Good Time in Central Africa
November 22, 2010	S08E10	Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
December 6, 2010	S08E11	Dead from the Waist Down
December 13, 2010	S08E12	Chocolate Diddlers Or My Puppy's Dead
January 3, 2011	S08E13	Skunk, Dog Crap, and Ketchup
January 17, 2011	S08E14	Lookin' for Japanese Subs
February 7, 2011	S08E15	Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
February 14, 2011	S08E16	That Darn Priest

Season Nine[]

Premiere Date	Ep No.	Name
September 19, 2011	S09E01	Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
September 26, 2011	S09E02	People Who Love Peepholes
October 3, 2011	S09E03	Big Girls Don't Throw Food
October 10, 2011	S09E04	Nine Magic Fingers
October 17, 2011	S09E05	A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
October 24, 2011	S09E06	The Squat and the Hover
October 31, 2011	S09E07	Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
November 7, 2011	S09E08	Thank You for the Intercourse
November 14, 2011	S09E09	Frodo's Headshots
November 21, 2011	S09E10	A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
December 5, 2011	S09E11	What a Lovely Landing Strip
December 12, 2011	S09E12	One False Move, Zimbabwe!
January 2, 2012	S09E13	Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
January 16, 2012	S09E14	A Possum on Chemo
February 6, 2012	S09E15	The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
February 13, 2012	S09E16	Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
February 20, 2012	S09E17	Not In My Mouth!
February 27, 2012	S09E18	The War Against Gingivitis
March 19, 2012	S09E19	Palmdale, Ech
April 9, 2012	S09E20	Grandma's Pie
April 16, 2012	S09E21	Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
April 30, 2012	S09E22	Why We Gave Up Women
May 7, 2012	S09E23	The Straw in My Donut Hole
May 14, 2012	S09E24	Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

Season Ten[]

Premiere Date	Ep No.	Name
September 27, 2012	S10E01	I Changed My Mind About the Milk
October 4, 2012	S10E02	A Big Bag of Dog
October 11, 2012	S10E03	Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
October 18, 2012	S10E04	You Do Know What the Lollipop's For
October 25, 2012	S10E05	That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
November 1, 2012	S10E06	Ferrets, Attack!
November 8, 2012	S10E07	Avoid the Chinese Mustard
November 15, 2012	S10E08	Something My Gynecologist Said
November 29, 2012	S10E09	I Scream When I Pee
December 6, 2012	S10E10	One Nut Johnson
December 13, 2012	S10E11	Give Santa a Tail-Hole
January 3, 2013	S10E12	Welcome to Alancrest
January 10, 2013	S10E13	Grab a Feather and Get in Line
January 31, 2013	S10E14	Run, Steven Staven! Run!
February 7, 2013	S10E15	Paint It, Pierce It, or Plug It
February 14, 2013	S10E16	Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
February 21, 2013	S10E17	Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
March 7, 2013	S10E18	The 9:04 from Pemberton
March 14, 2013	S10E19	Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
April 4, 2013	S10E20	Bazinga! That's from a TV Show
April 25, 2013	S10E21	Another Night with Neil Diamond
May 2, 2013	S10E22	My Bodacious Vidalia
May 9, 2013	S10E23	Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped

Season Eleven[]

Premiere Date	Ep No.	Name
September 26, 2013	S11E01	Nangnangnangnang
October 3, 2013	S11E02	I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
October 10, 2013	S11E03	This Unblessed Biscuit
October 17, 2013	S11E04	Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
October 24, 2013	S11E05	Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
November 7, 2013	S11E06	Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
November 14, 2013	S11E07	Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
November 21, 2013	S11E08	Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
December 5, 2013	S11E09	Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
December 12, 2013	S11E10	On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
January 2, 2014	S11E11	Tazed in the Lady Nuts
January 9, 2014	S11E12	Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
January 30, 2014	S11E13	Bite Me, Supreme Court
February 6, 2014	S11E14	Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe
February 27, 2014	S11E15	Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
March 6, 2014	S11E16	How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
March 13, 2014	S11E17	Welcome Home, Jake
April 3, 2014	S11E18	West Side Story
April 10, 2014	S11E19	Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
April 24, 2014	S11E20	Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
May 1, 2014	S11E21	Dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT
May 8, 2014	S11E22	Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

Season Twelve[]

Premiere Date	Ep No.	Name
October 30, 2014	S12E01	The Ol' Mexican Spinach
November 6, 2014	S12E02	A Chic Bar in Ibiza
November 13, 2014	S12E03	Glamping in a Yurt
November 20, 2014	S12E04	Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
November 27, 2014	S12E05	Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
December 4, 2014	S12E06	Alan Shot a Little Girl
December 11, 2014	S12E07	Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
December 18, 2014	S12E08	Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
January 8, 2015	S12E09	Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
January 15, 2015	S12E10	Here I Come, Pants!
January 22, 2015	S12E11	For Whom the Booty Calls
January 29, 2015	S12E12	A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
February 5, 2015	S12E13	Boompa Loved His Hookers
February 12, 2015	S12E14	Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
February 19, 2015	S12E15	Of Course He's Dead, Part 1
February 19, 2015	S12E16	Of Course He's Dead, Part 2

Notes & Trivia[]

Created by Chuck Lorre and lee Aronsohn.

Aired on Thursday evenings at 3:00 pm EST.

External Links[]

Episodes needed!
This page is missing one or more episode titles from its overall list. You can help the TV Database Wiki by filling in missing episode titles or airdates until the page is complete.