3rd Rock from the Sun: Dick Is from Mars, Sally Is from Venus

"Dick Is from Mars, Sally Is from Venus" is the fourth episode from season one of the science fiction sitcom series 3rd Rock from the Sun. The episode was directed by Robert Berlinger with a script written by Bill Martin and Mike Schiff. It first aired on NBC on January 30th, 1996. In this episode, Sally Solomon goes on a date, with little knowledge of accepted Earth mating rituals, only to find that her potential suitor is a complete jerk. Tommy Solomon begins going to high school and receives an education unlike anything he's ever experienced.

Quotes

 * Dick Solomon: Well, one of us has to experience sex and I am getting nowhere with her.
 * Sally Solomon: Well, why didn't you say so? I mean if sex is so important, you and I can do it right here on the desk and get it out of the way.

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 * Sally Solomon: Frankly, when I think of the alternative, I just have to laugh.

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 * Nina Campbell: Sally's date. Start talking.
 * Dick Solomon: Well, what can I say? In her own words, it was wonderful.
 * Nina Campbell and Mary Albright: Mmm-hmm.
 * Dick Solomon: She over ate, and he found her charming.
 * Nina Campbell and Mary Albright: Mmm-hmm.
 * Dick Solomon: In fact, he's going to call her.
 * Nina Campbell and Mary Albright: Hmm.
 * Dick Solomon: What?

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 * Dick Solomon: Why are you listening to the serpent? Don't eat the fruit! Don't eat the fruit!

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 * Sally Solomon: Tell me Dick, what kind of shampoo do you use?
 * Dick Solomon: I don't know.
 * Sally Solomon: Exactly. And you feel the urge to have an 8 pounds screaming larva rip its way out of your lower abdomen?
 * Dick Solomon: No, I think I can do without that.
 * Sally Solomon: See? Here you and I are completely different life forms and it's just some sick cosmic joke that we have to share a planet.

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 * Sally Solomon: Damn it Dick. Give me some pain I can define!
 * Dick Solomon: I will not jam your hand in the toaster again.